Patience For Love.

As I am confident anybody who actually reads my blog already knows that the most amazing, precious, handsome, loving man asked me to marry him last Saturday night (May 19)!! My response was "Of course!":)

I really do believe every girl dreams of the day she finds love. Real, genuine love.  As far back as I can remember, I have longed for love.  As a teenager I watched and read all the romances that always ended so "perfectly"  and dreamed of my day to have my perfectly ending romance.

Dreams are good.  I believe it is important to have dreams and ambitions for life to chase after.  But sometimes the dreams we chase after don't always line up with God's will and His timing.  I, unfortunately, am certain I haven't always sought for God's direction when it came to dating and relationships- I dreamed of love, and I was in a hurry to find love. I'm pretty positive I made it clear through my actions that I did not need God to have control of that area of my life because, in all honesty, He wasn't in line with my schedule and my own plans.  I look back now and can see God saying "Wait for me," and my response through my actions was "God, I don't want to wait. I want love now."

Beginning in 7th grade with my very first crush and my first boyfriend in 8th grade, it became my quest to find that boy. While I never had a serious boyfriend until college, I went on a date with one boy after another searching for love never finding anyone seemingly "enough" for my wants and needs, yet, I kept searching and searching.  I continued this  search through my first two and a half years of college when that search finally came to  a halt when I had my heart broken in a severity that gave me epiphany.  I realized I needed God to rescue me and heal my broken heart.  After all, He did send His son to earth to bind up the brokenhearted(Isaiah 61:1).  My dependence was not in God, because if it had been, I would not have been searching for an earthly love- I would have been completely in love with God. I committed myself to falling in love with the One who would never fail-the One who offers forgiveness, and grace, and mercy, and True Love.  I finally found contentment in singleness.  For nearly two and a half years, I devoted myself to singleness and while there were periods where I struggled and even began to seek after my own plan for love again, I knew where my True Love was and where my dependence lied.  I was called to be patient and wait and trust God and His plan.

In May/June 2011,  I was very unexpectedly introduced to a boy named Seth Richardson in a way that only God could have made happen.  From our very first conversation,he challenged me to seek God more without even knowing or trying, and I knew there was something different this time.  He was genuine and real with me from day one. And as I began to spend time with him and know him better, I knew God had a plan for us.  As I moved from the South (working in Atlanta but living in Alabama on the weekends) to Colorado,  I trusted that only God alone could make the relationship work out, and in His timing He would bring me home.  Of course I didn't want to wait on Him, but God, as always, proved himself faithful.  I came home in January to work for the City of Gadsden, and now I am engaged to the man who has become my very best friend, the love of my life, and soul mate.  We are better together. And I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life seeking God with him. 
 
"But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, PATIENCE, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit."  Galatians 5:22-25 (ESV)

Patience.  Patience comes from complete total trust and dependence in God alone.  Through my impatience, my heart was broken, but through dependence on God and walking with Him, by His grace and love my heart was healed. And He once again proved himself Faithful to his promise.

"It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed." Deuteronomy 31:8

I pray for  the youth of today.  I pray they have dependence on God and wait on Him.  He has a beautiful story for your life. A beautiful and perfect plan. Allow Him to satisfy your longings and desires for love. Because He is the only example of True, Perfect, Love.  Be patient for love. 

Every Ending's a New Beginning

This past year has definitely been a year of endings and new beginnings.    It's crazy to think in one year, I   graduated from school, started a new job, moved to Atlanta to live in a hotel, met a precious man, moved to Colorado, experienced three season's while living there, moved home, moved back to Atlanta to live in a hotel, quit my first job to move back home and start a new job.   Yes indeed, it's been a lot of change for me and more learning about myself and this world than I could ever imagine.  I've shed a lot of tears (and worked a lot of muscles with all that moving).  A lot of endings and new beginnings.

I hope to share my experiences through the past year and the many lessons God has taught me.  It's a wonderful feeling to know every step I took and every move and mistake I made  were all part of God's sovereign plan for my life.   As Jeremiah 29:11 says, God knows the plans He has for me, and while at times I may think I'm going through "the worst", His plan isn't to harm me but to protect me.  He gives me hope for the future.