...let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit...

Do not let your adorning be external-the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear- but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.   -1 Peter 3:3-6

I have a confession:  I struggle. I struggle with the world and material possessions.  As a woman, I feel the need to have the best, new, cutest clothes, shoes, and jewelry especially now that Pinterest has become so popular.   While I've always loved clothes, here lately I think the love has exceeded to a new level because unlike before when I was student, I now have a job where I can actually buy clothes and at FULL prices.  And I've discovered the realm of online shopping which is no good for any girl with a credit card and a budget because with the click of a button, money is spent and a package is on your way without having to drive to Birmingham.    Let me iterate this though before you start thinking I'm a girl with no limits on spending,  I do not believe in keeping a balance on my credit card and I make sure I pay it off every month. However, the additional spending inhibits me from tithing more, paying more on other bills such as student loans and my car, and putting money in savings.

I've been feeling more conviction lately for my new love of spending money to make myself look like the "it" girl, because that's not me or who God has called me to be.    God reminded me of my reasons for wanting these things- approval of the world.  My motives  for having new dresses and jewelry and shoes are to impress people who I barely know and as awful as it sounds and I hate admitting to allow myself to compete with other girls.  I recently started observing some absolutely beautiful women in my life and their dress.  The most beautiful girls I know wear very little make up and dress so simplistic-no glitz and glamor yet so beautiful.  Their beauty comes from the inside which overflows to an outward beauty.    I am reminded that because I am God's creation and God only creates beautiful things, I don't need the glitz and the glamor or all the makeup and hairspray or that new cute dress when I've got about five others in my closet that haven't been worn this season  to be beautiful- All I need is Jesus.  I need Jesus to fill my life completely- I need to love and focus on others rather then my appearance.  I desire for my beauty to come from the inside, and I pray that before others see outward beauty, they get a glimpse of inward beauty.    I pray that I will be like Sarah- a holy women adorned by her submission to Abraham.  I pray my adornment will come from my submission to Seth.

Here in America, dressing is the way many people express themselves, and we as Americans are so blessed to have the option of wearing a different outfit everyday.  Since we are so blessed to live in America (or are we?),  I do believe the way we dress is important- it's important to dress modestly (another subject), it's important for us to be clean, and of course we all have individual tastes and preferences, so it is important for us to let our dress reflect our personality.  I don't believe that buying a new dress or shirt here and there is sin unless there is conviction,  but I do think God is sending a message that our dress and appearance shouldn't be WHO we are.  It shouldn't be our primary focus.  He should be our focus- my focus. I need Him as my focus because nothing else satisfies like Christ does.

Oh I pray for this nation-  we are being so brainwashed.  Satan is attacking us with our American culture, and I am seeing how easy it is to get so caught up in ourselves and the things we "need".    I pray our hearts will be so broken by the real needs of this world that we ignore what the American culture screams at us and we begin running after God and begin making disciples of all nations- loving the orphans and feeding the hungry and sacrificing ourselves for the sake of Christ.

The Crash

Around two years ago,  I was asked to pray about  moving to Eugene, Oregon once I finished school to join a team in planting a church and sharing the gospel to a lost and dark city.  This team would be called The Crash, and would carry the vision to spread the gospel to lost, broken, and dark cities as lay people.   At the time, my answer to this was "Why not?".   I had no plans after graduation.  Not a thing to keep me in Alabama.    In January 2011, the Crash Mission Team moved to Eugene, Oregon while I finished my last semester of college at UAB.  In a matter of one final semester of college, my heart changed. I went through a couple of months of rebellion against the Lord's calling on my life, I was offered a job in Atlanta with plans to move me around the country, and with some pressure from peers and family, I accepted the job and the plan to move to Oregon was done. 

I'm not sure what God's perfect plan for my life was or is, but I do know God is sovereign, and His forgiveness and grace is unending.  I believe every step and decision I've made has led me to where I am now, and all I can say is "Praise God!", because He is writing a beautiful story for my life that I know I couldn't have written better.   

Tonight I had the opportunity to spend some time at Lifepoint-a church full of people who are so dear to me and have played a huge role in discipling me- hearing and learning what my dear friends are doing in Eugene, Oregon.  I am so blessed to say I am friends with The Crash mission team, and I am extremely encouraged and challenged to spread God's love to the lost and broken after hearing testimony's from the people of Eugene.  God may not have called me to Eugene, but He has placed me here in Gadsden, Alabama for this time and season.  

Recently I've been asking God to open my eyes to the brokenness of Gadsden.  Being Assistant Engineer for the City of Gadsden, I have the opportunity to go to parts of the city I would stay away from otherwise, and my heart is broken.  My heart is broken for those who use drugs and alcohol because they are trying to fill a void only Christ can fill.  My heart is broken for those girls who are giving themselves to men as objects because they feel the need of affirmation.   My heart is breaking for these people, and yet I don't know how or where to begin to show them love.

I may not be on the other side of the country or across the ocean, but I can be missionary here in Gadsden, Alabama.  I can be a part of the Crash Mission Team wherever I am as long as my heart is to show the broken God's love.  I challenge you to pray with me asking God to create opportunity to minister to the lost and broken. Pray that when opportunities are given,  faith will exceed all fear, and God's name be glorified.     I also challenge you to pray for my friends in Eugene and The Beautiful Mess church as they build relationships with the people of Eugene.

"For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control."   -2 Timothy 1:7

"But you will receive the power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth."  -Acts 1:8

"No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us."  -1 John 4:12

Count It All Joy

I had the privilege to move to Denver, Colorado for about 4 months last September. While I was in Denver, I had the opportunity to spend time with the beautiful, God-fearing women of Colorado Ridge church-I know God placed me at that church for a reason, because without the Bible studies and small groups and girl's nights I'm not sure how I would have made it through that season of life.    While I was in Denver,  Colorado Ridge went through a series on the book of James- talk about conviction in about every area of life.  And even more, I was part of a women's Bible study on the book of James.  There is no doubt God had me at that church studying that book for a reason because while the trial of being in Colorado alone and working on an oil refinery with about 350 construction workers may seem like a small trial in comparison to so many others that people face, it was huge to me.  

"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."  James 1:2-4

James 1:2-4 was the first sermon preached on in the book of James, and my women's bible study spent several weeks alone doing a word study on James Chapter 1.    It was instilled in me, yet I admit I had a hard time counting it all joy in this trial-the trial of being 1,700 miles from home working a job that gave me constant instability not knowing where I'd be sent after the project finished in February only six months after I got there.  The trial consisted of me working with nonbelievers-those who loved money and the things of this world.  I got the opportunity to talk about the joy of the Lord, but I'm not sure if I was living it well or not.  I hope and pray that I was a light to them and that my Faith in God was evident. I hope that while I walked up to my apartment to cry after being embarrassed by my drunk coworkers comments, that God's strength could still be seen through me.  For when I am weak, He makes me strong. (2 Corinthian 12:9-10)    While I was there, I had a difficult time finding joy in the trial I was facing, and I spent a lot of hours crying out to God.     But I look back and I do consider it all joy, because I do believe God used that season of my life to test my faith, and I do believe I am stronger in faith because of it.   

A week or so ago, my Bible plan took me through the book of James once again, and I was reminded of my time in Colorado. While I was in the midst of trial last fall, I had a hard time believing in the truth of James 1:2-4 that was instilled in me. I recited it and read it and prayed over it, but had the most difficult time living it.  Now, as I am going through a much smaller trial- one that might seem petty to many, I am reminded of God's grace and that His plan is perfect and pleasing. I am counting it all joy while I face this trial, because I know God will use it for His good- He is testing of my faith which produces steadfastness molding me to become perfect and complete.  Some days when I want to be bitter over the present trial (which is more often than I'd like to admit), I simply remind myself of James 1:2-4 along with Philippians 4:8  and every scripture that tells me to love because that covers a multitude of sins.     If it weren't for trials, then how would I grow in my Faith in God??    I ask for prayer while I continue to face this trial.  I'm a proud person, and my flesh often wins. Pray that I will humble myself, and love. Pray that I will be confident in who I am- a woman of God, and that I will not let the things of this world bring insecurity upon me.  I have security in God but wow Satan does want me to believe otherwise.

Thank you, and I love you all. 

Let Us Run With Endurance

August 4, 2011, I wrote a note to be posted on  Facebook.  And as it is part of my journey, part of the changing seasons of my life, I thought I would post it as it is so encouraging for me to read again, and know that as long as I fix my eyes on God, "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength" (Philippians 4:13).

"Therefore since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith,let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with en.durance the race God has se before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame.  Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God's throne.  Think of the hostility he endured from sinful people, then you won't become weary and give up.  After all, you have not yet given your lives in your struggle against sin."

I have recently decided to train for another marathon. Now whether I actually run that marathon or not is a different story.  Anyway,  I decided to do my ten mile long run for the week tonight (Thursday)  because I knew if I waited till the weekend I'd more than likely end up not doing.  I had ran ten miles Friday night and while it was tough, it was tolerable. But tonight- only six days later, ten miles became very difficult.  And around mile seven, all I wanted to do was stop.  But in my head all I could think was "push through it Allison push through it, you'll become stronger for it- you'll never grow if you don't push through the hard times"  and like that I made it through that long ten miles.   Once I got past the point I wanted to quit, I started thinking how life is the exact same way.  We are human, and we struggle. We struggle with sin, we struggle with faith, and we struggle with patience.  It is these struggles that makes us stronger; but to become stronger, we have to push through them and remain faithful.  It's so easy to give up and become weary and let sin wear us down, but fixing our eyes on God and the pain he endured brings us promise, hope, and peace. He is our strength.  

I know for me at this place I am in life, I'm confused and I feel so unstable because my job has brought me to a city temporarily with my futrue residence unknown that keeps me from being around the ones I love so much.  But just like Hebrews 12 says, the same with 1 Corinthians 9 and 2 Corinthians 4, and all throughout the Bible;  I'm not going to give up- God places us in situations and circumstances to challege us and able us to grow stronger in Him.  I may want to quit and just pity myself and do whatever I can to have what I want, but God requires me as a follower and disciple of Him to push forward-to trust in Him and His promises, to be patient and faithful. And that's exactly what I'm going to strive to do.

I'm not a writer, never have been- but God laid this on my heart so clearly, I thought I should share it.  Love you all so much,  and of course I miss you all too :)

Patience For Love.

As I am confident anybody who actually reads my blog already knows that the most amazing, precious, handsome, loving man asked me to marry him last Saturday night (May 19)!! My response was "Of course!":)

I really do believe every girl dreams of the day she finds love. Real, genuine love.  As far back as I can remember, I have longed for love.  As a teenager I watched and read all the romances that always ended so "perfectly"  and dreamed of my day to have my perfectly ending romance.

Dreams are good.  I believe it is important to have dreams and ambitions for life to chase after.  But sometimes the dreams we chase after don't always line up with God's will and His timing.  I, unfortunately, am certain I haven't always sought for God's direction when it came to dating and relationships- I dreamed of love, and I was in a hurry to find love. I'm pretty positive I made it clear through my actions that I did not need God to have control of that area of my life because, in all honesty, He wasn't in line with my schedule and my own plans.  I look back now and can see God saying "Wait for me," and my response through my actions was "God, I don't want to wait. I want love now."

Beginning in 7th grade with my very first crush and my first boyfriend in 8th grade, it became my quest to find that boy. While I never had a serious boyfriend until college, I went on a date with one boy after another searching for love never finding anyone seemingly "enough" for my wants and needs, yet, I kept searching and searching.  I continued this  search through my first two and a half years of college when that search finally came to  a halt when I had my heart broken in a severity that gave me epiphany.  I realized I needed God to rescue me and heal my broken heart.  After all, He did send His son to earth to bind up the brokenhearted(Isaiah 61:1).  My dependence was not in God, because if it had been, I would not have been searching for an earthly love- I would have been completely in love with God. I committed myself to falling in love with the One who would never fail-the One who offers forgiveness, and grace, and mercy, and True Love.  I finally found contentment in singleness.  For nearly two and a half years, I devoted myself to singleness and while there were periods where I struggled and even began to seek after my own plan for love again, I knew where my True Love was and where my dependence lied.  I was called to be patient and wait and trust God and His plan.

In May/June 2011,  I was very unexpectedly introduced to a boy named Seth Richardson in a way that only God could have made happen.  From our very first conversation,he challenged me to seek God more without even knowing or trying, and I knew there was something different this time.  He was genuine and real with me from day one. And as I began to spend time with him and know him better, I knew God had a plan for us.  As I moved from the South (working in Atlanta but living in Alabama on the weekends) to Colorado,  I trusted that only God alone could make the relationship work out, and in His timing He would bring me home.  Of course I didn't want to wait on Him, but God, as always, proved himself faithful.  I came home in January to work for the City of Gadsden, and now I am engaged to the man who has become my very best friend, the love of my life, and soul mate.  We are better together. And I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life seeking God with him. 
 
"But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, PATIENCE, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit."  Galatians 5:22-25 (ESV)

Patience.  Patience comes from complete total trust and dependence in God alone.  Through my impatience, my heart was broken, but through dependence on God and walking with Him, by His grace and love my heart was healed. And He once again proved himself Faithful to his promise.

"It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed." Deuteronomy 31:8

I pray for  the youth of today.  I pray they have dependence on God and wait on Him.  He has a beautiful story for your life. A beautiful and perfect plan. Allow Him to satisfy your longings and desires for love. Because He is the only example of True, Perfect, Love.  Be patient for love. 

Every Ending's a New Beginning

This past year has definitely been a year of endings and new beginnings.    It's crazy to think in one year, I   graduated from school, started a new job, moved to Atlanta to live in a hotel, met a precious man, moved to Colorado, experienced three season's while living there, moved home, moved back to Atlanta to live in a hotel, quit my first job to move back home and start a new job.   Yes indeed, it's been a lot of change for me and more learning about myself and this world than I could ever imagine.  I've shed a lot of tears (and worked a lot of muscles with all that moving).  A lot of endings and new beginnings.

I hope to share my experiences through the past year and the many lessons God has taught me.  It's a wonderful feeling to know every step I took and every move and mistake I made  were all part of God's sovereign plan for my life.   As Jeremiah 29:11 says, God knows the plans He has for me, and while at times I may think I'm going through "the worst", His plan isn't to harm me but to protect me.  He gives me hope for the future.