My Eternal Valentine

Just a little something I wrote last Valentine's Day (2012). 

For the first time in my twenty three years of life, I have a boy here on earth who will call me his valentine tomorrow. Forever I thought of Valentine's Day as a silly holiday-Actually, I think I had a bitterness towards the day. I always joked about the day but deep down I was dreaming of the day I would actually have someone shower me with love on that day.  

This year I  am finding love in the day not only because I have a boy to spend the day with but because it suddenly hit me that for all twenty three years of my life I've had the ultimate Valentine every single day of my life.   I have a Savior that died for me. He knows the depths of my heart and He still continues to love me. He knows my every thought and move, and HE STILL LOVES ME. He'll always love me. It's kind of crazy to think that I've spent so many years being slighty bitter about a holiday of love when all along I've had the greatest love of all.   I am so overwhelmed that I have a God who sent His only Son to this earth to live a perfect life just so that he could be persecuted and condemned for loving others; He was nailed to a cross to become the ultimate sacrifice for my sins and rose again so that I can live for eternity.  

None of us should feel unloved today or tomorrow or any day because we all have the greatest love of all, a love that has no depth or end, "a love that surpasses knowledge" (Ephesians 3:19), AN EVERLASTING LOVE!  

"Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends."  John 15:13

"Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.  Anyone whoe does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him.  IN this love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.  No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us."  1 John 4:7-12

This year (2013), I have a HUSBAND for my Valentine- one who shows me amazing love daily-  and I am SO blessed. I thank God for Seth daily, sometimes hourly.  But Seth and I are both human, and we fail each other. Praise God for the gift of forgiveness, grace, and mercy.

 While Seth will only be my Husband and Valentine for my days here on earth,  one thing will always remain the same- I have a perfect, unfailing Valentine for eternity. One who knew me before I entered my mother's womb, and I praise my Father in Heaven this day and forevermore!

Looking to the things that are unseen, things that are eternal.

"So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal."  2 Corinthians 4:16-18

It is a reoccurring theme for my life to become completely overwhelmed by busyness and a to-do list a mile long.    And the preceding scripture is one I remind myself of often, although not often enough.   In this new season of my life (being a married woman), I'm learning I cannot be the perfect wife, friend,  or daughter. As hard as I try and push, I'm going to fail, and I'm going to become weary and overwhelmed by the day-to-day tasks.... unless I allow God to take control.... unless I allow God's grace to live through me... unless I allow myself to be humbled.

I can't do this without HIM. I can't live life with joy and love and patience and humility without GOD. Without fixing my eyes on the unseen- eternity.

My outer self is wasting away, but my inner self is being renewed day by day.  That is so refreshing, knowing that if I fix my eyes on Christ and rest in Him, He will renew me from the inside out so that I won't be weary.  Knowing that the everyday trials and chores are only momentary, allows me to live more joyfully taking heart that Christ has overcome the world (John 16:33).   It is my prayer that I will surrender my burdens to God, choosing to serve others with humility, love, joy, and selflessness.

2012, Change, Growth, and Hope in the Lord

2011 was a year of change for me, and I honestly thought 2012 would not hold a candle to 2011 as far as change is concerned. But 2012 remained consistent in the amount of change that would occur while I began the year with a  change in job which included change in finances followed by an engagement and marriage to the love of my life (let's face it, getting married is a pretty large commitment).  Marriage included a change in name, a change in responsibilities and a change in my self centered life all along with the gain of another amazing set of parents, the most wonderful Paw Paw anyone could ask for as well as a fantastic aunt and uncle and three cousins! :)   2012 has included a new church along with new friendships and community here in Gadsden, AL.

I look back on 2011, and I entered the year with much more fear than excitement. After spending nearly 20 years of my life in a classroom, I knew that was going to be ending and I had no idea what the future would help.  I struggled finding hope in God and trusting Him with my future.  But God is so good and so faithful, and showed me that His perfect love expels all fear (1 John 4:18).  And that He gives a spirit not of fear, but of power and love and sound mind ( 2 Timothy 1:7).  He showed me through a series of events, that I am wasting time worrying about the future because He is sovereign and has promised to take care of me (Matthew 6:25-34). 

 2012 brought a lot of changes, but praise God I was able to face these changes with a new hope and trust.  I had learned that change was good as long as I sought the Heavenly Father and trusted in Him. I remember being in my last semester in college (Spring 2011), and all I wanted was to settle down- to have stability.  I thought this constant change in life and this constant unknown of what I was going to do once I graduated was the scariest and most miserable thing.  Over the past year, God has shown me that change is good.  If there was no change, there wouldn't be growth.  Growth requires change.  And as long as I'll trust God with my future, the change will be a lot less stressful and a lot more exciting.  My prayer is that this coming year, change will be a part of my daily life.  I pray that God will radically change me through my thoughts, words, and actions.  And my prayer is that Seth and I will not have a spirit of fear, but that we will seek God and trust Him wholeheartedly to lead us to do "whatever, whenever, wherever".

the Exodus.

I am currently reading through the book of Exodus, and the encouragement I have received from my Father through His word is so extremely overwhelming.  


God's people came to Egypt during the beginning after Joseph was sold by his brothers to be a slave, and through a series of events he became Pharaoh's right-hand man. Through God's grace, God used Joseph to save all the people from famine.   The Israelites began settling in Egypt and for a long time they had favor with the Pharah and Egyptians. Over many many years, it was forgotten how the Lord used Joseph to save the land, and the Israelites had become slaves to Egypt.  It was finally time for them to leave and return to the land God had promised them.  God called on Moses to be his messenger, and Aaron was his spokesperson.  God told Moses he would bring the people out of Egypt.  God hardened Pharaoh's heart over and over again and Pharaoh did not want the Israelites to leave, but finally after many plagues and the Passover, Pharaoh wanted them gone. And he let them go until his heart was hardened again and decide to chase after them and bring them back to Egypt as his slaves once again.

"The time that the people of Israel lived in Egypt was 430 years. At the end of 430 years, on that very day, all the hosts of the Lord went out from the land of Egypt. It was a night of watching by the Lord, to bring them out of the land of Egypt; so this same night is a night of watching kept to the Lord by all the people of Israel throughout their generations."  Exodus 12:40-42

God  brought the people of Israel out of Egypt. He watched over them then, and He watches over us now.  How comforting is it to know that God is watching over you and I now?  And He protects us!

"When Pharaoh let the people go, God did not lead them by way of the land of the Philistines, although that was near. For God said, "Lest the people change their minds when they see war and return to Egypt. But God led the people around by the way of the wilderness toward the Red Sea. And the people of Israel went up out of the land of Egypt equipped for battle." Exodus 13:17-18

God watches us, and He guides us.  He led the people through the wilderness because He was protecting them and their eyes from war.  He wanted them to feel safe, and He knew their hearts to know that seeing war might make them return to Egypt where it was comfortable  even though the people could not freely worship Him.    He wants the best for us and knows the course we need to take if we will allow Him too. He will protect us and guard us.

 The people of Israel went up out of the land of Egypt equipped for battle. 

  He equips us with His Word for battles.  He equipped His people in the Great Exodus, and He equips us now.  He's given us His Word, and because of Jesus's death, resurrection, and ascension, we have the Holy Spirit to guide us.  I'm so overwhelmed.  I don't have to fight Satan on my own because God will do it for me if I'll allow Him to.  The Israelites were afraid.  But God stayed true to His promise.  He fought the fight for them.   He led the people across the Red Sea and swallowed the Egyptians into the Red Sea.  All so that the people would never have to see them again, and God would receive the glory.

And Moses said to the people, "Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the Lord, which he will work for you today.  For the Egyptions whom you see today, you shall never see again.  The Lord will fight for you, and you only need to be silent."   Exodus 14:13-14

Fear Not, Stand Firm, and See the salvation of the Lord.

He will fight for you.  Just be silent.  Don't try and fight it on your own, but wait for Him. Let Him fight the battle for you.  After all, He is God, and He already won the battle for us when He sent Jesus to die on a cross for us.

And right now as I struggle in a battle I'm trying to fight on my own, God is telling me to be silent and stop trying to fight this own my own.  Let HIM take control.  I'm letting Him take control.  He had the power to part the Red Sea, let us pass through, then swallow the enemy by the Red Sea.  So today, I will allow God to lead me across the Red Sea . I will not look back, and I will trust Him to part it, take me across, and swallow the enemy behind me.

The Beauty of Marriage

As many of you know, I am nearly three weeks into my newest season of life-the season of life where two lives become one life.  Until Seth and I were engaged, I had never thought in depth much about marriage.  I knew I desired to be a part of the covenant of marriage, and I knew I loved Seth and that he was the person God had designed for me. I knew that he was the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with even through whatever challenges we might face, and I even knew I would have to abandon some of my own dreams..  But until we were engaged- promised to be married to one another- I had not thought much else about the subject of Marriage.   I cannot begin to describe how beautiful marriage is.  A beautiful covenant between a man and a woman symbolic of the covenant between Christ and the Church.

Marriage is no longer just a promise I made to spend the rest of my life with somebody, nor is it the covenant I am to enter  into before I can have sex without sinning against God or myself.   Marriage is the abandoning of my old and selfish ways and walking with Seth creating a new way.  If that is not a beautiful picture of the gospel, then I don't know what is.   I now understand the intimacy God desires to have with me.  The intimacy of me seeking Him with my every thought and move.   Because I am now one with Seth, every decision I make I think of him because my decisions affect him. I now ask him or at least tell him before I go have lunch with a friend. I seek his opinion before I go run with a new group or help in a ministry or spend a few dollars on this new article of clothing.  He isn't just my partner, he is my life. We are ONE in flesh.  I can go to Seth with my thoughts and struggles and not have the fear of him condemning me or judging me, but have the joy knowing he will hurt with me, love me, and pray for me. And that's how our relationship with God should be.  He hurts with us. He loves us. He forgives us.  He wants us to come to Him with our every need because He is the ultimate provider and healer.   And while marriage has shown me the kind of relationship God desires with me, I know Seth will fail me but God never will.   Seth will fail me and I will fail him, but because of God's love for us, we know how to forgive each other.  God has grace and mercy on us over and over again.  And there again, mine and Seth's marriage will constantly consists of us pouring love and grace and mercy on one another when we mess up- when I don't get his shirt washed for church on Sunday or I forget to pick up milk for his cereal or when he hurts my feelings with that comment that's supposed to be joking but I take it seriously.  And Praise God! Oh Praise God because we have both experienced His love and mercy!  And we have the Holy Spirit to guide us in our marriage- to allow us the have love and grace and mercy on one another because we can't have do this alone. We need the Helper.   Without God we wouldn't know how to love-not through the trials that we know we will go through together.

So today, I am thanking God for this gift.  I also thank Him for the most beautiful, wise, and Godly counselors in our life.  Seth and I have so many loving couples in our life that have poured out love and prayers on us as we have entered into this season of life.  As a result of "The Blessing",we were able to begin our marriage with truth.  And thank you to my Aunt Sandi and Uncle Weyman for giving us the advice to "abandon our old lives and create one new life together".   And just like as followers of Christ, we are dead to our old lives without Christ and born again to a new life with Christ living inside of us.   It's a beautiful picture.  Absolutely beautiful.  Marriage and the Gospel. :)


"For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace."  John 1:16

"The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love." Psalm 103:8

And As For Me It's Finally Real.

How long have I been dreaming? Who forgot to wake, to wake me up?
I know it sounds crazy but daddy now I think I’m in love
Cause when he steps in the room my heart begins to pound

You said, “Never settle,” you promised there was one out there for me
It’s true, I might have doubted but he’s standing here and now I believe
Yes, I know you’ll be proud of the man that chose me

It’s elementary to the wise, for the fool in full disguise
Beggars bow and poets kneel, and as for me… it’s finally real

I will always love you and I will always be your little girl
None could come between us, you’ll forever be the first man in my world
But when he smiles I can see how much he reminds me of you
A man of faith, a man of strength, who loves me like you do

It’s all the time I’ve spent in tears, worth the heartache, worth the fears
To stand beside him on this day after you give me away

How long have I been sleeping? Who forgot to wake, to wake me up?
Daddy, he’s amazing, he’s everything that I’ve been dreaming of

And now he has become my very best friend…

- Kendall Payne, "Daddy" 



I was 19 the first time I listened to the lyrics of the song "Daddy" by Kendall Payne.  My heart had been broken- I'd been rejected, and my best friend and I were riding down the rode. She was encouraging me, and along with Reliant K's "Let It All Out", we listened to Kendall Payne's album "Paperskin." On that day, the song "Daddy" was my encouragement not to settle.  I knew I wanted to be able to sing the words of the song one day and mean them, and the boys I had been dating were not men of faith nor strength.  They didn't love me because if they did they wouldn't hurt me or reject me.  I spent a lot of time in tears and a lot of time in fear doubting I would find "the one"- the one I would call my best friend.  At times I thought I'd be better off just settling.  And I'm so thankful I didn't. I'm so thankful God gave me the desire and strength to wait. To wait for him. To wait for Seth Davis Richardson.

The song above is written to Daddy. As many of you know my parents have only recently began to commit their life to the Lord. What a joy and great challenge it is to know that my life and mine and Seth's relationship have been light of Jesus Christ unto their lives.  So for me my earthly Daddy is the man who will give me away on Sunday. He was the first man in my world, and I will always be his little girl. However, my Heavenly Father above is the one who has told me not to settle- the One who promised a good and perfect plan for my life.  My Heavenly Daddy is the one who told me what my husband should be- a man who seeks after Him, a man who loves and respects his wife, a man of faith trusting in God, living and walking with Him.

 It’s elementary to the wise, for the fool in full disguise
Beggars bow and poets kneel, and as for me… it’s finally real

On June 17, 2011 I went on my first date with the man I would sing this song about. And on October 7, 2012, only 6 days away, I will walk down the aisle. My daddy will give me away. And I will become one with my best friend.  Oh what overwhelming joy to be able to marry a man that will put the Lord first in his life with me only being second to Christ.  My dream- my dream of the one who will complete me- is real!  Praise the Lord! Praise Him for His beautiful promise.

Praise Him because He is the one that said "It is not good for man to be alone" in Genesis Chapter 2!  Praise Him for sending His Son to earth to become a sacrifice for us and shed his perfect blood to cover up all our sins!   And Praise Him because in 6 days, Seth and I will enter into the Holy Covenant of Marriage!   Marriage- symbolic of what the relationship between the church and Christ is.  Oh how beautiful!  Christ loves the church with unconditional love, and the church submits to Christ with honor and respect because He is Holy!  We, the church, fail Christ and He forgives and loves unconditionally.  Oh how I pray Seth and I will have a marriage that will glorify God- a marriage that will show the world a glimpse of God's love for us, a glimpse of the intimate relationship we should have with Christ.

“Hallelujah! For the Lord our God the Almighty reigns. Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come; and his Bride has made herself ready. It was granted her to clothe herself with fine linen, bright and pure."  -Revelation 19:6b-8a

In 6 days, I will clothe myself with a dress made of fine linen, bright and pure. I will walk down an aisle, and commit myself to loving Seth Davis Richardson unconditionally until death do we part.  I choose to love him, to encourage him, and to walk with him as one flesh following after the King of All Kings, the Lord of all Lords, a Savior worthy of all our praise.  I will choose to abandon my old self and we will become ONE.   And that is beautiful. That is a dream come true.

...let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit...

Do not let your adorning be external-the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear- but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.   -1 Peter 3:3-6

I have a confession:  I struggle. I struggle with the world and material possessions.  As a woman, I feel the need to have the best, new, cutest clothes, shoes, and jewelry especially now that Pinterest has become so popular.   While I've always loved clothes, here lately I think the love has exceeded to a new level because unlike before when I was student, I now have a job where I can actually buy clothes and at FULL prices.  And I've discovered the realm of online shopping which is no good for any girl with a credit card and a budget because with the click of a button, money is spent and a package is on your way without having to drive to Birmingham.    Let me iterate this though before you start thinking I'm a girl with no limits on spending,  I do not believe in keeping a balance on my credit card and I make sure I pay it off every month. However, the additional spending inhibits me from tithing more, paying more on other bills such as student loans and my car, and putting money in savings.

I've been feeling more conviction lately for my new love of spending money to make myself look like the "it" girl, because that's not me or who God has called me to be.    God reminded me of my reasons for wanting these things- approval of the world.  My motives  for having new dresses and jewelry and shoes are to impress people who I barely know and as awful as it sounds and I hate admitting to allow myself to compete with other girls.  I recently started observing some absolutely beautiful women in my life and their dress.  The most beautiful girls I know wear very little make up and dress so simplistic-no glitz and glamor yet so beautiful.  Their beauty comes from the inside which overflows to an outward beauty.    I am reminded that because I am God's creation and God only creates beautiful things, I don't need the glitz and the glamor or all the makeup and hairspray or that new cute dress when I've got about five others in my closet that haven't been worn this season  to be beautiful- All I need is Jesus.  I need Jesus to fill my life completely- I need to love and focus on others rather then my appearance.  I desire for my beauty to come from the inside, and I pray that before others see outward beauty, they get a glimpse of inward beauty.    I pray that I will be like Sarah- a holy women adorned by her submission to Abraham.  I pray my adornment will come from my submission to Seth.

Here in America, dressing is the way many people express themselves, and we as Americans are so blessed to have the option of wearing a different outfit everyday.  Since we are so blessed to live in America (or are we?),  I do believe the way we dress is important- it's important to dress modestly (another subject), it's important for us to be clean, and of course we all have individual tastes and preferences, so it is important for us to let our dress reflect our personality.  I don't believe that buying a new dress or shirt here and there is sin unless there is conviction,  but I do think God is sending a message that our dress and appearance shouldn't be WHO we are.  It shouldn't be our primary focus.  He should be our focus- my focus. I need Him as my focus because nothing else satisfies like Christ does.

Oh I pray for this nation-  we are being so brainwashed.  Satan is attacking us with our American culture, and I am seeing how easy it is to get so caught up in ourselves and the things we "need".    I pray our hearts will be so broken by the real needs of this world that we ignore what the American culture screams at us and we begin running after God and begin making disciples of all nations- loving the orphans and feeding the hungry and sacrificing ourselves for the sake of Christ.