Twenty-Five

"I will give to the Lord the thanks due to his righteousness, and I will sing praise to the name of the Lord, the Most High." Psalm 7:17 

"I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart; I will recount all of your wonderful deeds. I will be glad and exult in you; I will sing praise to your name, O Most High." Psalm 9:1-2
Today I turn twenty-five, and that number is a little overwhelming for me. I know it's not old, and I still have so much youth in me but I feel like it's this strange milestone I've reached.  It's not so much the number twenty-five as to where I'm at opposed to where I've been.  It's this new season I am in that makes twenty-five seem so overwhelming, and to be honest it's a little frightening.  I've been finished with school for over two years.  I've been working a full time job since one month after I graduated.  I am an adult.  I'm married to my best friend, and I absolutely love it! But with marriage comes responsibilities in the home and.. learning to give up self.  My very best friends are scattered all over the state and country, and to be honest making new friends like those I had in high school and college has not been the easiest feat, although God has definitely blessed me with new ones.   I love the life God has given me, and I am so exceptionally abundantly blessed, but all the changes that have occurred in the course of the year have been a  little bit of a struggle for me. 

With all that being said, I choose today to allow my identity to be in Christ and Christ only- not a number or circumstances. I choose today to only sing songs of Praise to my King.  I choose  to celebrate the life God has given me and the places He has taken me and will take me.  I'm so thankful for the husband I have and the man of God he is and the truth he brings to my life.  I love serving Seth and learning how to be a help-mate for him.  I'm thankful for the job God has provided me so that I can give back to Him.  I find so much joy in laboring for my Lord and Savior.  I'm so thankful for the consistency my job has brought me and the opportunity to make new friends and build new relationships with brothers and sisters in Christ. I'm thankful to be able to serve in the same church every Sunday. I'm thankful for the lessons God brings me everyday.  I'm thankful for twenty-five years of learning experiences, and twelve years of growing in Christ!   He will use my experiences and my knowledge of Him to lead others through valleys.  And I am thrilled for the journey He is taking me on, and the works He is going to do through me.  I will trust Him as He leads me through this  season, and I will give Him all the praise!

"And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ."  Philippians 1:6

"I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." Galatians 2:20


Side note: August is my favorite month of the year. I always loved going shopping with my Mom for school clothes and supplies for my birthday. I've always loved the start of a new school year with new classes and teachers and seeing friends after a long summer break.  And to be honest, the past three Augusts I've missed "going back to school".   

Submission

As a newly wed, I am learning what submission really looks like.  God tells us in His Word that wives are to submit to their husbands as the Church submits to God.

 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. (Ephesians 5:22-24, ESV)

Merriam Webster's definition of submit is

1a : to yield oneself to the authority or will of another : surrender

b : to permit oneself to be subjected to something <had to submit to surgery>

2: to defer to or consent to abide by the opinion or authority of another 

If I am honest, this submission thing is not always easy. God told us that it wouldn't be at the fall of man way back in the Garden of Eden.  Because of the fall, women  desire to rule over their husbands, and my own flesh often demonstrates this desire.

 To the woman he said,

“I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing;

in pain you shall bring forth children.

Your desire shall be for your husband,

and he shall rule over you.” (Genesis 3:16, ESV)

So let me be real with you all. 

My husband is very authoritative by nature (I'm so grateful for this quality in Seth) which makes it less likely for me to be the ruler over my household and easier for me to play my part as wife by submitting to husband. I have a personality that hates confrontation and arguments. I aim to please everyone, so naturally I am a submissive person, but I am human and I am selfish- let me reiterate, I am SELFISH. And if I have an opinion about something, then I am right or at least I believe I am right whether it's true or not. And sometimes when things don't go my way, I become angry and frustrated.   My anger and frustration almost always comes out in tears-tears that I normally can hold in until I'm alone, and those that are extremely close to me ( my mom, dad, brother, and unfortunately now Seth) have sadly seen me "pitch a fit".  

Seth and I are completely opposite in personality (most of you can testify), and because of our difference in genders, we naturally have some different interests and hobbies. This difference in personalities and interests causes a little bit of disagreement which is ok because I know God uses these differences to make us more rounded and more like Him. But there has been a day or maybe two when we are in disagreement and I'll nod my head yes to him but  when he leaves the room, I pitch a complete fit. I stomp my feet and scream (in my quiet voice so the neighbors won't here) and then I cry in self-pity because I never "get my way".  I kind of act like a child having a temper tantrum- awful and embarrassing I know!. This in no way is submitting to my husband.  This in every way is me being selfish, prideful, and ugly.  Even though most times I wait until I'm "alone" to pitch my fit,  my heart is not in submission to him. When I act in this way, I'm basically throwing myself a pity party which is sin in itself and saying my husband doesn't know best and I don't trust him.   It's pretty much the same as me pitching a fit and crying to God after He doesn't do something the way I asked Him to.  When I do this, I'm telling God that He doesn't have my trust- I don't trust the Creator of the Universe with my life. That's an extremely  bold statement to say to the One who laid His on life down for my sin-the One who is sovereign over ALL things. 

Submission isn't easy in this sin-filled world. Trusting something you can't see requires Faith. But Who else would I trust with my life? And marrying and submitting to another human  is more difficult than that.  I mean God doesn't make mistakes, but we as humans do daily so as expected, giving another person full authority over yourself is not easy. 

God's given us the power of prayer though, and I praise God for the husband I have who is faithful to Him, one who is above reproach, and one who loves the Lord and loves me dearly.  I thank God for being able to change me and my thoughts through prayer, and His Holy Spirit which works through me and will give me a spirit of humility and selflessness on days when I want it to be "all about me".  I want to trust my husband with every decision, praying that the Holy Spirit will be present in every dimension of his life and my life.  I want to be submissive to my husband. I want to be submissive to God.  I can't do it alone.   I can't do it alone. I CAN'T DO IT ALONE.  And praise Jesus, He hasn't asked me to.

So today God, I'm trusting in You to lead me through every disagreement that I may submit joyfully to my husband.  God, I need your forgiveness and grace daily. Break my pride, God. Make me humble. Because I need you.  I need you, Father.


And Seth, thank you for forgiving me when I allow my ugly flesh to super-cede the Holy Spirit. Thank you for loving me despite all my flaws. And thank you for respecting me and loving me like Christ loves the church. I love you. 

Unequally Yoked? 1 Kings 11:1-4

Now King Solomon loved many foreign women, along with the daughter of Pharaoh: Moabite, Ammonite, Edomite, Sidonian, and Hittite women, from the nations concerning which the Lord had said to the people of Israel, "You shall not enter into marriage with them, neither shall they with you, for surely they will turn away your heart after their gods." Solomon clung to these in love. He had 700 wives, princesses, and 300 concubines. And his wives turned away his heart. For when Solomon was old his wives turned away his heart after other gods, and his heart was not wholly true to the Lord his God, as was the heart of David his father. (1 Kings 11:1-4 ESV)


 Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever? What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; as God said,

“I will make my dwelling among them and walk among them,

and I will be their God,

and they shall be my people.

Therefore go out from their midst,

and be separate from them, says the Lord,

and touch no unclean thing;

then I will welcome you,

and I will be a father to you,

and you shall be sons and daughters to me,

says the Lord Almighty.” (2 Corinthians 6:14-18, ESV)

1 Kings 11 is a biblical example of why one should not date an unbeliever. If you date an unbeliever with the reasoning that you will be able to "change" him or her.. You need to back it on up and hop back over the friends only line. Chances are you will not change them and you will fall. Imagine standing up and trying to hold or pull another person up. No matter how strong you are, you will eventually fall. Dating relationships  typically are deep relationships, and a deep relationship apart from the Body of Christ holds not accountability. God's word tells us we are not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers. There are no excuses for a believer to even think for a second they can date an unbeliever.  And an unbeliever includes those who say they are Christians but show no fruit..    And I've been in those shoes before.  I've dated an unbeliever thinking "I can change him- I can show him Jesus."  I thought I was invincible and I could date anybody and stand firm. But I quickly realized this was not the case as I was not being encouraged or built up any longer, and the chains of sin began wrap around me.   Praise God my experience with this only lasted about 3 months, and my conviction led me to awakening and repentance realizing my need for God in every dimension of my life.  I praise Him for pulling me out of that miry pit before I got too deep.   Our God cares and that's why He has given us the Word.

God told Solomon not to enter marriage with the foreign women because they would turn his heart after their gods.  Solomon married them anyway and clung to them, and these women did turn his heart after other gods.  He did what was evil in sight of the Lord and God tore the kingdom of Israel from Solomon's hands leaving only one tribe in Israel of the twelve tribes for Solomon to reign for the sake of David and Jerusalem. (1 Kings 11:9-13)


God's command to Solomon is true for us today.  And the consequences are tough.  Our decisions we make over who we allow ourselves to date and marry can affect generations to come. Be wise. Be alert. And be of sound mind.

 Be sober-minded;be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. (1 Peter 5:8-9, ESV)

Girls, if you are struggling with the temptation to date an unbeliever or are already in a dating relationship with an unbeliever and not sure how to pull out and stay out of the miry pit it's sucked you into, I would love to talk with you, cry with you, and help hold you accountable.  I'm a message away :).  God loves you, and He's won the battle for you if you'll only surrender it to Him.  And I love you as my sister in Christ.





With much much love,

Allison

Obsession

What can I do with my obsession
With the things I cannot see
Is there madness in my being
Is it the wind that moves the trees
Sometimes You're further than the moon
Sometimes You're closer than my skin
And You surround me like a winter fog
You've come and burned me with a kiss

And I'm so filthy with my sin
I carry pride like a disease
You know I'm stubborn, Lord, and I'm longing to be close
Your burn me deeper than I know
And I feel lonely without hope
And I feel desperate
Without vision
You wrap around me like a winter coat
You come and free me like a bird

 And my heart burns for You
And my heart burns...for You


-David Crowder

oh dear Jesus,


my heart. it burns for You. i'm obsessed with You. You are my Creator, my perfect and wonderful Heavenly Father. You are my Husband-my Lover. You are the soul Satisfier, the Meeter of all my needs. You are my Forgiver and my Provider. You are Who makes me Whole. You are my Everything. and i...


i am a coward. i am prideful. i am selfish and out of control. i am fearful and afraid. i am lonely and broken. i am unfaithful and unkind. i am a liar. and i am a sinner.


but Jesus,


i am OBSESSED with You, because You gave me grace when I didn't deserve it. You have had mercy on me and have loved me and shown me what true love is. You laid down your life for me. You showed me it doesn't matter what my profession or social status is. You are God and You give me hope. You free me from my pride, and my selfishness, and my fear, and my loneliness.  You give me a new song to sing, and a new dance to dance. You are God and You have given me life.


and God,

i want to lay down my life for You.
all of it.
forever.
it is Yours.


 i am Your daughter and i am Your bride.
 i am Your follower.
 i'll mess this up. but God, i trust You- Your grace is sufficient for me. 

Stepping Into the Boat

Last night at church, we held our kick-off service for our "Gathered-to-Go" Missions Celebration.

Our church has adopted the Global Focus program which will mold us into an Acts 1:8 Church.  We are called to Go, and Global Focus will help equip us to do that. Taking part in Global Focus requires us to celebrate what God's doing in and by our Church throughout the nations each year.  This is our first Celebration!  And it is a celebration indeed as we have missionaries that our church sponsors from all over the world here in Gadsden for the week! It's so exciting to see God at work around the world!

 But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.  (Acts 1:8, ESV)
 
Part of the celebration requires us to evaluate our lives and commit to God to be faithful. We want to continue sending out members of our church into Jerusalem, Judea, Samaria, and the ends of the earth. And so last night at our kick off service we had Dr. Danny Wood deliver a message. (Danny is the pastor of Shades Mountain Baptist Church in Birmingham which has been involved with Global Focus for about 10 years I believe.)  Anyway, Dr. Wood preached on Mathew 8:23-27 where the disciples chose to trust in Christ and step in the boat with him even in the midst of a storm.   Dr. Wood told us that we will be one of two people- we will stand along the shore and watch or we will step into the boat with Christ and follow after Him.  

23 And when he got into the boat, his disciples followed him. 24 And behold, there arose a great storm on the sea, so that the boat was being swamped by the waves; but he was asleep. 25 And they went and woke him, saying, “Save us, Lord; we are perishing.” 26 And he said to them, “Why are you afraid, O you of little faith?” Then he rose and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a great calm. 27 And the men marveled, saying, “What sort of man is this, that even winds and sea obey him?” (Matthew 8:23-27, ESV)

Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. (Matthew 10:39, ESV)

I want to step into the boat with Christ. I want to follow after my Savior and I want to lose my life in order to save it. I want to sacrifice my life for God. While some sacrifices I'll begin to make in order to further the kingdom of God are obvious being black and white, others are a little gray.  However, the black and white and gray go hand and hand because they both involve the same thing- finances.  But the gray involves so much more. This gray is a desire God's put in my heart but there's a lot of preparation it entails including financial and the financial preparation is where my fear lies.   Is my fear God-given fear because the timing isn't right or is it fear from Satan?  Is God calling me to stay-put for now and learn to be content? Or am I being complacent because where I am is easy and comfortable?  Is God calling me to leave the easy and comfortable and stop being complacent or is He calling me to be content a little while longer? Is He telling me not to worry about the finances, that He's in control? Or is He saying you've still got a car and an education to pay for and those are the consequences for your past prideful choices? 

I trust God to lead me. I trust God for discernment. And I trust He will make His plan known to me if I am willing to take hold, and I am. I see my fear, but I won't live in it because I know God will cast out all my fear and give me perfect peace. (1 John 4:18)


(Also, I realize I used a lot of "I" in this post instead of "we".  Seth and I are in unison on the life we will live for Christ. We both realize our need to lose our "life" and follow after God. However, the things we will sacrifice do look a little different as we are two completely different people(made one by God)- male/female being one large difference.  Of course naturally as we are "one in flesh", we will both need a perfect peace from God in all decisions)



 

Good Friday

The idea of having a God who would sacrifice his Son-human yet knew no sin- overwhelms me.  After reading through the Old Testament and understanding the laws the people had to abide by to stay clean, holy, and righteous, I now understand in greater depth the gift God gave us on this day- the miraculous gift of life when three days later He arose from the dead, and after spending some time on earth ascending to heaven and leaving His Spirit to live among us.   

We were terrible people.  God gave us all these true promises.  As He led us out of Egypt, he supplied us with all our needs and promised us a Holy Land full of milk and honey.  But we were selfish and impatient.  We wanted the “good” things now.  We served all these man made idols like they were going to give us what we wanted.  God knew our needs. He promised to take care of us.  He gave us laws so we could stay holy and right with Him.  And yet we abandoned him over and over again-we did what was “evil in the sight of God”. And through all our sin, all our rejection to Him, God loved us enough that He sent His very perfect, only Son to this earth to be the ultimate sacrifice for our sins.

Jesus was perfect. He lived a perfect life.  He wasn’t sent to earth to have “form or majesty that we should look at him” (Isaiah 53:2), but He was borne of a virgin girl-a commoner- and He held the occupation of a carpenter.  He was tempted the same as us and yet He never gave to temptation.  He loved EVERYONE even those people who were rejected by others.  And he was persecuted and ridiculed.  He-the perfect and spotless lamb- gave his life on a cross.  He shed his own blood.  He died for your sins and my sin so that we could be free from the law (Romans 7) and have His Spirit live in us. 

Praise the Lord. Hosanna in the Highest. Jesus. Messiah. Name Above All Names. Worthy of All Praise.  Blessed Redeemer. Emmanuel.     

God of Love

"Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.  Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. This is love, not that we have loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.  Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought to love one another.  No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us."

1 John 4:7-12

The past couple of months, I have been placed in a few situations where I've had to serve people with love that are honestly just not that easy to serve.  In these situations, I could feel anger and bitterness trying to overtake me.  But every time Satan has began to have his way, God has taken me back to what He's commanded me to do- Love One Another as I love myself, Not Love One another as they have loved me. He's taken me back to His Amazing LOVE for me.  He has reminded me that He carried the Cross (death) for me and my sins. He died for my selfishness, my pride, my worry, my envy of others, and the slew of many other character flaws I have, and He died for all others too. Because I know Him personally I'm able to have His Spirit live in and throughout me. His Spirit which produces fruit of love and joy and peace and patience and kindness and goodness and gentleness and faithfulness and self-control (Galatians 5:22-24). If I abide in Him, He'll abide in me (John 15:4). If I love Him, I'll love others sincerely.  I can't love God if I hate my brother(1 John 4:20).   Though my flesh says burn those who aren't easy to serve or love,  I'm able to act in love because of Christ's Spirit living inside of me.  I'm so humbled because I KNOW I can't love others genuinely without Him.  I cry with joy because God is working in me- He is testing me (James 1:2)- and I am able to respond in love because of His love for me! 

How great is our God that He doesn't ask us to do things on our own.  How great is our God that He loves us enough to send His Spirit to live inside of us (Acts 2) if we choose to trust in Him. God is faithful always and His words are true.  When He tells us if we will abide in Him then He will abide in us and we will produce His fruit-it is true. I cry with joy today because God is showing me how to love the "least of these". He's showing me how to love the Pharisees and the Tax Collectors, the Prostitutes and the Young Rich Rulers.  While the battle still rages and my flesh does win too often, I'm so thankful my God loves me enough to have already won the battle for me. I do and will continue to fail. I will have a terrible attitude and I will act in pride and I will sin, because I haven't the strength to be perfect.  But my God is perfect and He will lovingly discipline me yet forgive me for all my sins!  Oh how I'm in need of a Savior! Every single day, I need a Savior!

So today I will continue to challenge myself to dig into His Word more, because without His Word I can't know Him or His will for me... When I am in the Word, I'm more likely to choose Him and bear His fruit allowing me to respond with love to those who are anything but love in return. If I am not in the Word, Satan sadly has his way, and harsh words are said while anger and bitterness and pride and worry boil up inside of me.  

I challenge you along with myself to study His Word, memorize scripture, and pray without ceasing.  Without a loving vertical relationship with our Father, we are unable to have a loving horizontal relationship with each other. 

God is good, and oh He is so faithful. He is Love. And only through His love are we able to love others.  God has called us to love one another. He's called us to love our enemies and pray for them (Matthew 5:44).  After all love does covers a multitude of sin. (1 Peter 4:8) So let us love.

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.  And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with it passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit."  Galatians 5:22-25

"I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing."  John 15:5

"We love because he first love us. If anyone loves says "I love God," and hates his brother, he is a liar, for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen.  And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother." 1 John 4:19-21

"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trails of various kinds, for you know that the testing of faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."  James 1:2-4

"You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, 'Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and send rain on the just and unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not eve the Gentiles do the same?  You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.'" Matthew 5:43-48

"Above all, keep loving each other earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins."  1 Peter 4:8