Obsession

What can I do with my obsession
With the things I cannot see
Is there madness in my being
Is it the wind that moves the trees
Sometimes You're further than the moon
Sometimes You're closer than my skin
And You surround me like a winter fog
You've come and burned me with a kiss

And I'm so filthy with my sin
I carry pride like a disease
You know I'm stubborn, Lord, and I'm longing to be close
Your burn me deeper than I know
And I feel lonely without hope
And I feel desperate
Without vision
You wrap around me like a winter coat
You come and free me like a bird

 And my heart burns for You
And my heart burns...for You


-David Crowder

oh dear Jesus,


my heart. it burns for You. i'm obsessed with You. You are my Creator, my perfect and wonderful Heavenly Father. You are my Husband-my Lover. You are the soul Satisfier, the Meeter of all my needs. You are my Forgiver and my Provider. You are Who makes me Whole. You are my Everything. and i...


i am a coward. i am prideful. i am selfish and out of control. i am fearful and afraid. i am lonely and broken. i am unfaithful and unkind. i am a liar. and i am a sinner.


but Jesus,


i am OBSESSED with You, because You gave me grace when I didn't deserve it. You have had mercy on me and have loved me and shown me what true love is. You laid down your life for me. You showed me it doesn't matter what my profession or social status is. You are God and You give me hope. You free me from my pride, and my selfishness, and my fear, and my loneliness.  You give me a new song to sing, and a new dance to dance. You are God and You have given me life.


and God,

i want to lay down my life for You.
all of it.
forever.
it is Yours.


 i am Your daughter and i am Your bride.
 i am Your follower.
 i'll mess this up. but God, i trust You- Your grace is sufficient for me. 

Stepping Into the Boat

Last night at church, we held our kick-off service for our "Gathered-to-Go" Missions Celebration.

Our church has adopted the Global Focus program which will mold us into an Acts 1:8 Church.  We are called to Go, and Global Focus will help equip us to do that. Taking part in Global Focus requires us to celebrate what God's doing in and by our Church throughout the nations each year.  This is our first Celebration!  And it is a celebration indeed as we have missionaries that our church sponsors from all over the world here in Gadsden for the week! It's so exciting to see God at work around the world!

 But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.  (Acts 1:8, ESV)
 
Part of the celebration requires us to evaluate our lives and commit to God to be faithful. We want to continue sending out members of our church into Jerusalem, Judea, Samaria, and the ends of the earth. And so last night at our kick off service we had Dr. Danny Wood deliver a message. (Danny is the pastor of Shades Mountain Baptist Church in Birmingham which has been involved with Global Focus for about 10 years I believe.)  Anyway, Dr. Wood preached on Mathew 8:23-27 where the disciples chose to trust in Christ and step in the boat with him even in the midst of a storm.   Dr. Wood told us that we will be one of two people- we will stand along the shore and watch or we will step into the boat with Christ and follow after Him.  

23 And when he got into the boat, his disciples followed him. 24 And behold, there arose a great storm on the sea, so that the boat was being swamped by the waves; but he was asleep. 25 And they went and woke him, saying, “Save us, Lord; we are perishing.” 26 And he said to them, “Why are you afraid, O you of little faith?” Then he rose and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a great calm. 27 And the men marveled, saying, “What sort of man is this, that even winds and sea obey him?” (Matthew 8:23-27, ESV)

Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. (Matthew 10:39, ESV)

I want to step into the boat with Christ. I want to follow after my Savior and I want to lose my life in order to save it. I want to sacrifice my life for God. While some sacrifices I'll begin to make in order to further the kingdom of God are obvious being black and white, others are a little gray.  However, the black and white and gray go hand and hand because they both involve the same thing- finances.  But the gray involves so much more. This gray is a desire God's put in my heart but there's a lot of preparation it entails including financial and the financial preparation is where my fear lies.   Is my fear God-given fear because the timing isn't right or is it fear from Satan?  Is God calling me to stay-put for now and learn to be content? Or am I being complacent because where I am is easy and comfortable?  Is God calling me to leave the easy and comfortable and stop being complacent or is He calling me to be content a little while longer? Is He telling me not to worry about the finances, that He's in control? Or is He saying you've still got a car and an education to pay for and those are the consequences for your past prideful choices? 

I trust God to lead me. I trust God for discernment. And I trust He will make His plan known to me if I am willing to take hold, and I am. I see my fear, but I won't live in it because I know God will cast out all my fear and give me perfect peace. (1 John 4:18)


(Also, I realize I used a lot of "I" in this post instead of "we".  Seth and I are in unison on the life we will live for Christ. We both realize our need to lose our "life" and follow after God. However, the things we will sacrifice do look a little different as we are two completely different people(made one by God)- male/female being one large difference.  Of course naturally as we are "one in flesh", we will both need a perfect peace from God in all decisions)