Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. (Ephesians 5:22-24, ESV)
Merriam Webster's definition of submit is
1a : to yield oneself to the authority or will of another : surrender
b : to permit oneself to be subjected to something <had to submit to surgery>
2: to defer to or consent to abide by the opinion or authority of another
If I am honest, this submission thing is not always easy. God told us that it wouldn't be at the fall of man way back in the Garden of Eden. Because of the fall, women desire to rule over their husbands, and my own flesh often demonstrates this desire.
To the woman he said,
“I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing;
in pain you shall bring forth children.
Your desire shall be for your husband,
and he shall rule over you.” (Genesis 3:16, ESV)
So let me be real with you all.
My husband is very authoritative by nature (I'm so grateful for this quality in Seth) which makes it less likely for me to be the ruler over my household and easier for me to play my part as wife by submitting to husband. I have a personality that hates confrontation and arguments. I aim to please everyone, so naturally I am a submissive person, but I am human and I am selfish- let me reiterate, I am SELFISH. And if I have an opinion about something, then I am right or at least I believe I am right whether it's true or not. And sometimes when things don't go my way, I become angry and frustrated. My anger and frustration almost always comes out in tears-tears that I normally can hold in until I'm alone, and those that are extremely close to me ( my mom, dad, brother, and unfortunately now Seth) have sadly seen me "pitch a fit".
Seth and I are completely opposite in personality (most of you can testify), and because of our difference in genders, we naturally have some different interests and hobbies. This difference in personalities and interests causes a little bit of disagreement which is ok because I know God uses these differences to make us more rounded and more like Him. But there has been a day or maybe two when we are in disagreement and I'll nod my head yes to him but when he leaves the room, I pitch a complete fit. I stomp my feet and scream (in my quiet voice so the neighbors won't here) and then I cry in self-pity because I never "get my way". I kind of act like a child having a temper tantrum- awful and embarrassing I know!. This in no way is submitting to my husband. This in every way is me being selfish, prideful, and ugly. Even though most times I wait until I'm "alone" to pitch my fit, my heart is not in submission to him. When I act in this way, I'm basically throwing myself a pity party which is sin in itself and saying my husband doesn't know best and I don't trust him. It's pretty much the same as me pitching a fit and crying to God after He doesn't do something the way I asked Him to. When I do this, I'm telling God that He doesn't have my trust- I don't trust the Creator of the Universe with my life. That's an extremely bold statement to say to the One who laid His on life down for my sin-the One who is sovereign over ALL things.
Submission isn't easy in this sin-filled world. Trusting something you can't see requires Faith. But Who else would I trust with my life? And marrying and submitting to another human is more difficult than that. I mean God doesn't make mistakes, but we as humans do daily so as expected, giving another person full authority over yourself is not easy.
God's given us the power of prayer though, and I praise God for the husband I have who is faithful to Him, one who is above reproach, and one who loves the Lord and loves me dearly. I thank God for being able to change me and my thoughts through prayer, and His Holy Spirit which works through me and will give me a spirit of humility and selflessness on days when I want it to be "all about me". I want to trust my husband with every decision, praying that the Holy Spirit will be present in every dimension of his life and my life. I want to be submissive to my husband. I want to be submissive to God. I can't do it alone. I can't do it alone. I CAN'T DO IT ALONE. And praise Jesus, He hasn't asked me to.
So today God, I'm trusting in You to lead me through every disagreement that I may submit joyfully to my husband. God, I need your forgiveness and grace daily. Break my pride, God. Make me humble. Because I need you. I need you, Father.
And Seth, thank you for forgiving me when I allow my ugly flesh to super-cede the Holy Spirit. Thank you for loving me despite all my flaws. And thank you for respecting me and loving me like Christ loves the church. I love you.
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