Sunday, October 6, 2013

One Year

October 7, 2012 I told Seth I would be united with him in marriage until death do we part. On that day, I made a vow to Seth that I would love him and honor him no matter the circumstance.  I entered into a covenant of oneness with Seth before my Father and many special friends and family so dear to us.   It was a day I cherish. Every moment. Every word spoken. Every person in attendance.  It was a day full of so much joy.

Now one year later, I will tell you I am the most blessed girl to have Seth Richardson as my husband.  I truly, truly  am.   Seth is so patient with me. He is my protector, and he is my steady.  He is honest with me even when it's hard.  He speaks truth in my life and knows the Word and quotes the Word to me when I doubt.  He is fun and loving, strong and handsome, and so very talented.  He makes me laugh several times a day and always knows when something is bothering me and attempts to "fix it". Not to mention, he raves over my cooking and thinks I am beautiful. ( What girl doesn't want to hear that? ;) He loves me, and  he proves his love to me daily even on the days I don't make it very easy to love. Our first year of marriage has been wonderful, and I wouldn't trade doing life with Seth for anything. There is no one else I'd rather wake up beside, cook for, and share weekends with.

One year later, I will also tell you my first year of marriage has not been so "easy breezy"-at least for me it hasn't. I thought marriage would be the time I'd learn a lot about Seth, and I have. Our pastor in counseling told us to get "Ph. D.'s" in each other, and we are slowly but surely working on it. But really more than anything, I've learned a lot about myself- and a lot of hard stuff.  I've learned I'm more selfish than I could ever imagine, and I'm also more codependent than I ever would have admitted to myself.  This year I've pitched a lot of fits, and I've cried a lot of tears. Not because Seth had done anything wrong, but because my ugly flesh had finally been revealed to me-the flesh that noone else had ever really seen or at least confronted me about.    Since a couple of months after our wedding day, I do believe my flesh began to rage war within me. I'd never had anyone so close to me speak so much hard truth into my life.  It's almost like God decided it was time to fine-tune me and begin to pick out the nitty gritty sinful details of my flesh.  My instant reaction to a lot of this truth revealed about my life and attitude this past year has been "no-way, not-me. I'm fine just the way I am".  I wanted every thing to be done my way, and I sincerely thought my way was the best since no one had every confronted me about my "ways" before. But   "my way" clearly is not the best.  God's calling for me is and has been to  give up myself and truly become "one" with Seth and choose His ways together.

I really had no clue how God would use marriage to bring me closer to Him and make me more like Him. I had no idea how God would use it to sanctify me.   I know now.    God knew I needed someone opposite of me- someone to state the truth to me and tell me really "how it is", someone who is steady and opinionated,someone who is stubborn, and maybe even someone who is a little "harsh" and not afraid to hurt my feelings.  I see it so clearly now.  I've been so challenged to stand up for myself and be confrontational when confrontation is required instead of running away once a disagreement would begin .  I'm beginning to appreciate opinionated people instead of freezing up and crawling into a hole when opinions are forced on me.  I'm understanding I can't say yes to every thing even with my servant's heart and that not everybody has the same needs as me. I realize now I can't please everyone, and I should only strive to do God's will and please Him.  Otherwise, I will simply be overwhelmed and exhausted-unable to do the things I do well well.  I'm learning to stay true to who I am and the interests God has given me, and that I shouldn't allow others to influence who God has made me to be or called me to be.   Mostly, I've come to realize even more so how in desperate need of a  Savior I am and how spending time with the Lord every day is so vital to me and my relationship with Seth and others.  And when I'm emotionally exhausted from trying "purify" myself on my own, God simply reminds me I do not have to  and cannot do this on my own. He gives me rest. And oh, how I NEED my Father.

One year later, I am so grateful for the gift of marriage. I am so continually astounded by God's faithfulness.  Marriage is such a blessing. The picture of God's love I see through my own marriage is beautiful.  Our perfect Father has loved us no matter the circumstance- even through our daily occurrence of unfaithfulness to Him.  No matter how many fits I pitch or tears I cry or mistakes I make, Seth still loves me. It's undeserved love.  And of course the love we receive from Christ cannot be compared to, but to imagine a love infinitely more perfect and unending than the love I receive from my husband is unfathomable.

So today, one year later all I can do is praise God for this gift of unity He has given to me and Seth.  Not only has God given me to Seth to be his "help-mate", He has given me better understanding of His great love for me.  He is purifying me to be more like Him. And I can't praise Him enough!

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” (Genesis 2:18, ESV)

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her bythe washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body.  (Ephesians 5:25-30, ESV)

I will sing of the steadfast love of the Lord, forever;
with my mouth I will make known your faithfulness to all generations. (Psalm 89:1, ESV)



Happy One Year Anniversary to my best friend and love of my life!  I'm still in awe that God chose me to be your wife!  I love you, Seth!

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