Submission

As a newly wed, I am learning what submission really looks like.  God tells us in His Word that wives are to submit to their husbands as the Church submits to God.

 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. (Ephesians 5:22-24, ESV)

Merriam Webster's definition of submit is

1a : to yield oneself to the authority or will of another : surrender

b : to permit oneself to be subjected to something <had to submit to surgery>

2: to defer to or consent to abide by the opinion or authority of another 

If I am honest, this submission thing is not always easy. God told us that it wouldn't be at the fall of man way back in the Garden of Eden.  Because of the fall, women  desire to rule over their husbands, and my own flesh often demonstrates this desire.

 To the woman he said,

“I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing;

in pain you shall bring forth children.

Your desire shall be for your husband,

and he shall rule over you.” (Genesis 3:16, ESV)

So let me be real with you all. 

My husband is very authoritative by nature (I'm so grateful for this quality in Seth) which makes it less likely for me to be the ruler over my household and easier for me to play my part as wife by submitting to husband. I have a personality that hates confrontation and arguments. I aim to please everyone, so naturally I am a submissive person, but I am human and I am selfish- let me reiterate, I am SELFISH. And if I have an opinion about something, then I am right or at least I believe I am right whether it's true or not. And sometimes when things don't go my way, I become angry and frustrated.   My anger and frustration almost always comes out in tears-tears that I normally can hold in until I'm alone, and those that are extremely close to me ( my mom, dad, brother, and unfortunately now Seth) have sadly seen me "pitch a fit".  

Seth and I are completely opposite in personality (most of you can testify), and because of our difference in genders, we naturally have some different interests and hobbies. This difference in personalities and interests causes a little bit of disagreement which is ok because I know God uses these differences to make us more rounded and more like Him. But there has been a day or maybe two when we are in disagreement and I'll nod my head yes to him but  when he leaves the room, I pitch a complete fit. I stomp my feet and scream (in my quiet voice so the neighbors won't here) and then I cry in self-pity because I never "get my way".  I kind of act like a child having a temper tantrum- awful and embarrassing I know!. This in no way is submitting to my husband.  This in every way is me being selfish, prideful, and ugly.  Even though most times I wait until I'm "alone" to pitch my fit,  my heart is not in submission to him. When I act in this way, I'm basically throwing myself a pity party which is sin in itself and saying my husband doesn't know best and I don't trust him.   It's pretty much the same as me pitching a fit and crying to God after He doesn't do something the way I asked Him to.  When I do this, I'm telling God that He doesn't have my trust- I don't trust the Creator of the Universe with my life. That's an extremely  bold statement to say to the One who laid His on life down for my sin-the One who is sovereign over ALL things. 

Submission isn't easy in this sin-filled world. Trusting something you can't see requires Faith. But Who else would I trust with my life? And marrying and submitting to another human  is more difficult than that.  I mean God doesn't make mistakes, but we as humans do daily so as expected, giving another person full authority over yourself is not easy. 

God's given us the power of prayer though, and I praise God for the husband I have who is faithful to Him, one who is above reproach, and one who loves the Lord and loves me dearly.  I thank God for being able to change me and my thoughts through prayer, and His Holy Spirit which works through me and will give me a spirit of humility and selflessness on days when I want it to be "all about me".  I want to trust my husband with every decision, praying that the Holy Spirit will be present in every dimension of his life and my life.  I want to be submissive to my husband. I want to be submissive to God.  I can't do it alone.   I can't do it alone. I CAN'T DO IT ALONE.  And praise Jesus, He hasn't asked me to.

So today God, I'm trusting in You to lead me through every disagreement that I may submit joyfully to my husband.  God, I need your forgiveness and grace daily. Break my pride, God. Make me humble. Because I need you.  I need you, Father.


And Seth, thank you for forgiving me when I allow my ugly flesh to super-cede the Holy Spirit. Thank you for loving me despite all my flaws. And thank you for respecting me and loving me like Christ loves the church. I love you. 

Unequally Yoked? 1 Kings 11:1-4

Now King Solomon loved many foreign women, along with the daughter of Pharaoh: Moabite, Ammonite, Edomite, Sidonian, and Hittite women, from the nations concerning which the Lord had said to the people of Israel, "You shall not enter into marriage with them, neither shall they with you, for surely they will turn away your heart after their gods." Solomon clung to these in love. He had 700 wives, princesses, and 300 concubines. And his wives turned away his heart. For when Solomon was old his wives turned away his heart after other gods, and his heart was not wholly true to the Lord his God, as was the heart of David his father. (1 Kings 11:1-4 ESV)


 Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever? What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; as God said,

“I will make my dwelling among them and walk among them,

and I will be their God,

and they shall be my people.

Therefore go out from their midst,

and be separate from them, says the Lord,

and touch no unclean thing;

then I will welcome you,

and I will be a father to you,

and you shall be sons and daughters to me,

says the Lord Almighty.” (2 Corinthians 6:14-18, ESV)

1 Kings 11 is a biblical example of why one should not date an unbeliever. If you date an unbeliever with the reasoning that you will be able to "change" him or her.. You need to back it on up and hop back over the friends only line. Chances are you will not change them and you will fall. Imagine standing up and trying to hold or pull another person up. No matter how strong you are, you will eventually fall. Dating relationships  typically are deep relationships, and a deep relationship apart from the Body of Christ holds not accountability. God's word tells us we are not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers. There are no excuses for a believer to even think for a second they can date an unbeliever.  And an unbeliever includes those who say they are Christians but show no fruit..    And I've been in those shoes before.  I've dated an unbeliever thinking "I can change him- I can show him Jesus."  I thought I was invincible and I could date anybody and stand firm. But I quickly realized this was not the case as I was not being encouraged or built up any longer, and the chains of sin began wrap around me.   Praise God my experience with this only lasted about 3 months, and my conviction led me to awakening and repentance realizing my need for God in every dimension of my life.  I praise Him for pulling me out of that miry pit before I got too deep.   Our God cares and that's why He has given us the Word.

God told Solomon not to enter marriage with the foreign women because they would turn his heart after their gods.  Solomon married them anyway and clung to them, and these women did turn his heart after other gods.  He did what was evil in sight of the Lord and God tore the kingdom of Israel from Solomon's hands leaving only one tribe in Israel of the twelve tribes for Solomon to reign for the sake of David and Jerusalem. (1 Kings 11:9-13)


God's command to Solomon is true for us today.  And the consequences are tough.  Our decisions we make over who we allow ourselves to date and marry can affect generations to come. Be wise. Be alert. And be of sound mind.

 Be sober-minded;be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. (1 Peter 5:8-9, ESV)

Girls, if you are struggling with the temptation to date an unbeliever or are already in a dating relationship with an unbeliever and not sure how to pull out and stay out of the miry pit it's sucked you into, I would love to talk with you, cry with you, and help hold you accountable.  I'm a message away :).  God loves you, and He's won the battle for you if you'll only surrender it to Him.  And I love you as my sister in Christ.





With much much love,

Allison